With the Cruiserweight Tag Team Titles set to return to the United States for the first time in a major promotion since 2001, I’ve decided to sit down and reveal who I think the ten best pairings would be for the division. Now one is going to be added because they’ve already been paired together apparently, but that’s neither here nor there. So let’s look at who’s paired up and what their gimmick will be.
Honorable Mention: Apollo and Mojo
– They’re not Cruiserweights but I keep mentioning these two men. And until they’re paired together, I’ll keep mentioning them. I think they would be an amazing tag team combination, and if given the chance could be an all time great pairing.
Honorable Mention: Undisputed Era
– Honestly, I find these three men really boring. They’re fantastic talents but Adam Cole isn’t the singles star the fans wish he would be, Bobby Fish is older than most of the trainers and Kyle O’Reily’s brief flirtation with stardom ended in about 9 minutes in Japan. They’re all more boring versions of Lance Storm.
10) Akira Tozawa/Hideo Itami
Gimmick: Stiff violent and serious.
– I don’t have a good gimmick for these two that wouldn’t be a stereotype. I wish I did, but these two dudes aren’t the best talkers, and their personalities are relatively…bland. Yes Tozawa makes weird sounds when he’s excited but I don’t think doing the same thing that a pit bull does in a viral video is exactly marketable. I think the best thing for them to be is the ‘serious’ team. Let their thing be that they’re just super violent and don’t care what happens to those they face.
9) Gentleman Jack Gallagher/Noam Dar
Gimmick: Annoying ‘Gentleman’
– I know the gimmick is generic, but just imagine these two doing as many annoying things as possible under the guise of being ‘gentlemen’. They could come up with a list of ‘rules’ that they must abide by, as gentlemen; like The Kingsmen. Instead of being a list of honorable and notable traits, they’re just all underhanded tactics, vague misogynistic ideals, and all around awful beliefs. The stickler will be when they constantly pull out their ‘Rules’ and at the top of the paper is a photo of William Regal with brass knuckles. They can just go around saying that they’re Gentlemen but they were Born Naughty, a nice homage to Regal.
8) Kalisto/Lince Dorado/Gran Metalik
Gimmick: Lucha Warriors
– Hey, get off my back. I’m trying here. I know the idea isn’t original and hey, it’s the WWE, they’re all minorities in masks, someone’s already paired them together. I’m just trying to define them. They all have different masks, but not styles, so don’t even try and separate them. Give them all the same three colors that they wear, so that they match and let them be a trios in the vein of The New Day. Only have Kalisto speak of the Lucha-spirit, and how they’re guerrero’s (warriors). Have them each take a moniker, like Kalisto is hope, Dorado is passion and Metalik could be aggression. And from there you let those little monikers define them in their promos. You can have Kalisto talking about how they’re underdogs but won’t ever stop, Dorado would just hit on women, and Metalik would have to constantly be pulled off opponents. Yet, together they’re an unstoppable force, even if they’re undersized. Think lucha libre Power Rangers.
7) Trent Seven/Tyler Bate/Pete Dunne
Gimmick: British Elitist
– Yeah, it’s a bit hokey to rely on foreign heel heat. Yet you bring these three into the fold, and just proclamation that they’ve trained better, trained harder, and took all of that into their execution. They’re quick tags, aggressive strikes and joint manipulation should result in a furry of quick matches that end up seeing their opponents escorted back by referees and officials. The physicality is the gimmick, and constant application is necessary.
6) Singhs
Gimmick: Bollywood Wannabes
– The Singhs were known as the Bollywood Boys on the indies, but in the WWE they’re nothing more than Jinder Mahal’s muscle…cue the snicker. Yet, on 205 Live, let them be wannabe movie stars. Every few weeks, they could come out and say they can’t wrestle because they have yet another Bollywood movie that they’re starring in, and you could have them even debut the films trailers on the show. Of course, the trailers would be just the Singhs reenacting movie scenes, or making up movie scenes. Most of the time they’ll just be caught on camera trying to hit on women by saying they’re actors. Of course they’ll get shot down. The idea though of seeing them make up fake movie trailers that are being released in Bollywood, but that we’ll never see, is similar to the Fashion Files to a degree, but it is different. The Files is about them solving crimes by imitating films. These would be fictional films that never exist, with full on release dates and a ‘cast’ that is riddled with top Bollywood stars. Imagine the Miz’s gimmick but with nothing backing up their claimes.
5) Cedric Alexander/Roderick Strong
Gimmick: Shooters
– Have Cedric Alexander start a losing streak, only for Roderick Strong to come along and train with him. The pair become just silent and determined shooter style wrestlers. Ced would have to change up his in ring style a bit, but the matching jackets, the similar attitudes and Ced’s ability to fly when he needs to, could have them really pop. Ideally you’d have them feud with British Strong Style, seeing as they’re the American version of the gimmick. Yet, they’ll refrain from joint manipulation, unlike the BSS, and will practice an ‘Honorable Code’ of ethics. Shaking hands, respecting the referee, following the rules; real old school ROH style code. Neither man has especially shown too much of an over the top personality, so this is it for the interim.
4) TJP/Tony Nese
Gimmick: Dude Bros
– These two should just go around to everyone and anyone being the dudeiest of dude bros. They’re mocking women while taking selfies, throwing carbs at ‘overweight’ wrestlers, cutting promos in the gym; that obnoxious stuff. Have vignettes where Nese and TJP are working out and slamming weights, only for the camera to reveal that there’s barely any weight on the bars, essentially showing off that they’re the assholes in the gym that just do annoying shit to get attention.
3) New Day (sans Big E)
Gimmick: The New Day
– It’s the New Day but with Big E as the over the top manager figure. I mean…over the top. Think of the most ridiculous things for him to do and say, and let him do it at ringside. The idea would be that the New Day would eventually hold both a regular tag team title and the Cruiserweight tag team titles at the same time. Something that Big E couldn’t be able to do, and thus, more hilarity. Just watching him walk in between his two partners as they were two sets of belts and the looks he could give people, oh man. Could be comedy gold.
2) Finn Balor/Neville
Gimmick: All-Star
– Both men would essentially be partners out of necessity, and not out of a mutual respect. That means in fighting, arguing, pushing, shoving; the whole thing. Now some people may point out that Balor is very unlikely to ever be a Cruiserweight and to that I reply, “…but he should be.” He’s the right size, the right level of no-charisma, and the best worker out of the whole division. To not let him feature his talents in this division would be a crime and would bring a huge boost of credibility to the proceedings.
1) Chad Gable/Drew Gulak
Gimmick: Lying Politicians
– Imagine JBL’s 2004 run but less racist-y. Gable would be Gulak’s ‘running mate’ and they would make stump speeches outside of the venue every week making more and more outrageous claims and accusations. They’ll do it in front of fans, hopefully, and even banter with them if possible. The idea is to showcase just how little people care about their live speeches or how much they do, considering how they get over. In the ring, whenever the ref accuses them of cheating, the other partner will scream out ‘fake news!’ at the ref just for the hell of it. They could even ‘filibuster’ an entire episode of 205 Live by just having live mics on them throughout the entire show, trying to delay the proceedings and claiming that they’re the real no.1 contenders for all to hear.