Thirteen year old me would try and kick my ass for writing this sentence; IMPACT Wrestling should sign David Arquette.
Nope, not a goof. Not a gag. Not a click-bait article. David Arquette is a unique puzzle piece in pro wrestling. He’s not a young competitor, at 47 years old he’s on the other side of his prime. Also, it’s not exactly like he’s been training for this industry for thirty years either. He is fairly green.
Yet, the former WCW World Heavyweight Champion has gone from laughing stock, to bankable stock. Arquette is earning fans respect, and he’s willing to go the extra mile to prove his love of the industry. A love that shouldn’t be in doubt regardless, I mean he has Macho Man Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth tattooed on his body.
Arquette is actually showing some pretty solid work in the ring. Now he’s by no means Dean Malenko, but he doesn’t need to be. While yes, his “comeback” is a redemption arc, what Arquette provides to every show he’s on is an attraction.
You can argue that he’s a side show attraction to a degree; watching him for the sake of seeing what he can or can’t do. Yet, I think be it a genuine draw or merely a morbid curiosity, there is value in Arquette as a regular player on a major promotion. The risks are low, you wouldn’t need him to work all that often, maybe once a taping, while allowing him to cut promos and do other ventures for the promotion. You’re only asking 10-13 matches a year, if you factor in pay per views and special events. So the work load is very manageable. Plus there’s always more work to be had if he was open to the idea.
Beyond just the wrestling and segments, you’d also have a seasoned actor on your roster; one that would be able to help out with sculpting characters and helping bring the best out with promos. Not that the company needs that, when you have Don Callis, Jimmy Jacobs, Eli Drake and Sami Callihan on your roster then you’re pretty set with advice. It doesn’t hurt to have someone on brand with his clout and success though.
The other added appeal is that it instantly makes your product more interesting for television outlets and audiences. Can the actor-turned-wrestler make it full time at his age, and against the talent he’s facing? That would be a must see arc each and every week. Imagine the plucky, optimistic underdog Arquette trying his best, eeking out a win here or there by roll-ups, DQ’s, count-outs or the rare clean finish. Ideally you could even put the tag team titles on him for a spell. Pair him with an Eli Drake type star, and his win seems more plausible. Maybe even he works his way up to win a new title, like a Television title. The closet thing to a World Title win though would be an honorable defeat in a television main event. I don’t think IMPACT should ever consider putting the belt on him unless unforeseen issues arise; like the entire roster gets signed by The Cleveland Cavs to help the rebuild process. I bet Callihan is a dirty perimeter defender.
As for whether or not he belongs in such a big company; well, I’ve seen far worse this year in the ring from wrestlers not named David Arquette. If you want to argue his talent, I’d take him as a worker over Fallah Bahh any day. To be fair, Bahh has a personality and an understanding of how to bring the crowd into his match. Something Arquette would need to work on. Though Arquette is better at selling already. He is a trained actor after all, his job is to sell things on the regular.
He has value as secondary wrestler. No, you don’t put the IMPACT World Championship on the guy, not unless he all of sudden turns into AJ Styles over night. But that’s just it, you don’t need him to. You don’t need to make him an Ace in order to make him a bankable star. Not too mention he could finally add a positive twist to his world title win in 2000.
Come on IMPACT, what do you have to lose? Just uh….just don’t answer the phone if you see “Vinny-Ru” pop up on the screen.